Tetanus Shots and Paranormal Activity Creatures... Which is Scarier?

Juliana's Guide to Sleeping:

1) The preferred direction of sleeping is the direction with the least light. In this case, towards the wall.

2) You can only sleep facing this way if someone else in the house is awake. If not, you'll get paranoid that the demons from Paranormal Activity are watching you. Obviously, if the 7 year old is still awake, this will not happen.

3) In every other situation, you have to face the direction with the two doors, and two windows. 

4) Make exceptions only at your own risk.

So, following protocol last night, I went to bed. At 3:00 am. But that's irrelevant  Since it was 3 am, everyone else in the house was asleep (except for the dog, but he couldn't scare a moth). According to my rules above (#3) I'm supposed to face the direction of the doors.

Slight problem arises. I got a tetanus shot in my arm that morning, which hurts like crap. This is the arm I have to sleep on if I'm facing this direction.

But (according to #2) the demon from Paranormal activity has a free shot at me if I turn around (#4).

So: Do I:

a) turn around and face the wall, and take my chances?

or

b) sleep on my arm that hurts like absolute get out?

Discomfort, or unknown?

I picked discomfort.

Which is a lot like what we do in life. If you have two things to choose from, one that you know isn't good, and another you know nothing about, 9 times out of 10 we pick the first option. Because typically we're more scared of unknown things than pain. 

And, ya know, then I felt really stupid when I woke up, and not only was I intact but I had a throbbing arm.

Sometimes when we've chosen the pain, we look back and see how stupid it was not to take the unknown.

And then sometimes the moral to the story sucks, and you should just pick comfort over possible death.

The Plastic Waffle

Everything frustrates Zac. Even walking into a room can cause him to look up, point a finger at you, cock his head and yell, "Ju! No froom!" (This translates to "Juliana! Get out of the living room!" (Because everyone knows Zac owns the living room)). He's been known to tell you off for breathing incorrectly as well. And don't even try singing.
But there's one thing I've found frustrates him to no end.
The Plastic Waffle.
So, to fully appreciate the waffle story, you have to realize we used to have a ton of plastic food in out house. I had a kitchen when I was little fully equipped with plastic eggs and toast.
Basically all we have left of this kitchen is the waffle.
So, Zac doesn't understand the concept of plastic food. He's surrounded by real food all day... and then there's this one plastic waffle he can't eat.
It's even more frustrating since his breakfast normally consists of a banana... and a waffle.
Here's how the (daily, might I add) waffle conversation goes between Zac and I:
Z: "Ju!" *holds up waffle* "Ah, this??"
Me: "That's a  plastic waffle."
Z: "Oh!" *He latches onto the one word he understood and shoves the waffle in his mouth* 
Me: *shakes my head*
Z: "Ju!" <--This is said very disapproving and disappointingly "Ah, bleh!"
Me: "That's because it's plastic."
Z: "Huh?"
Me: "That's not food."
Z: "A food?!"
Me: "Not food!"
Z: "Huh?!"
Me: "... it's a waffle. Enjoy.".

Did I Scare Ya?

Do you know what holiday I don't understand?
Halloween.
I don't understand this holiday.
Small children, dressed up as other people/creatures knocking on random strangers doors asking for food.
What. The. Heck.
Like, for real? Who created this holiday? Who was the first person who said, "Alright, kids, go knock on that person's door and ask them if they have any candy they would like to give to you!"
...I don't understand...
Okay, I get little kids wanting to dress up. I get that. I really do.
What I don't get is the whole trick or treating bit.
Also: When you say, "Trick or Treat!" what does this mean? Does this mean you would gladly take a trick just as well as a treat? Is there really even a choice? Is this question just a courtesy? Would I get arrested if I tricked a kid?
Why do we even tack that word on there if not to use it? Shouldn't we just shove our Walmart bags under stranger's noses, and say, "GIVE ME CANDY NOW."
I mean, in all honesty, that's what we're doing now.
And I don't get it. I really don't get it. I don't understand. (On a side note: Why candy? Why not cookies? Or carrots?)
So, guess what I'll be doing on Halloween this year?
Turning the porch lights off and eating my candy (that I refuse to give to small children who probably have enough hyper in their bags to last them a year) in a dark room.
Boo.

Focus

I officially hate strongly dislike dilation.
I haven't been in to the optamoligist in five years, and I noticed my vision was getting progressively worse, so we decided to go.
As it turns out, my eyes are fine. Better than fine, actually.
But, not we get to talk about the absolute funness of getting my eyes dilated.
Here's a picture:

When my pupils blew up, I lost focus.
I could not focus on anything. Couldn't read anything, couldn't see my hand.
I freaked out.
As most of you know, I'm a control freak. I like to be in control of all  certain situations.
I had no control here.
No matter how hard I tried to focus, or how many times I blinked, I could not see.
I couldn't see.
I about lost it in the waiting room.

But you know what's cool??
When my focus came back in and I could see things a few hours later, everything was sharper.
Because I wasn't taking it for granted anymore.
I knew what I had lost for a few hours.
And I was so so so grateful to have it back.

Side Note: I also managed to run into a few walls while I was there. Just, btw.

Interstate Entrance Ramps

I am terrified of interstate entrance ramps.
*moment of silence as I wait for all my blog readers to pick themselves up off the floor where they most likely collapsed in laughter*
No seriously. I am terrified of them. Terrified that Mr. Tractor Trailer is a little too close for comfort, or that that blue Honda Accord is not going to let us over.
I think of interstate entrance ramps a lot like life. You're in a small city to begin with, and then you hit the entrance ramp. The interstate is the big thing. The next big jump or leap in your life. The small city is where you came from, and the entrance ramp is the getting there.
And, a lot like entrance ramps, the transition from one thing to another scares me a lot of times. I don't like having to take leaps and rush headlong into things. I'm a very indecisive person, and indecision leads to procrastination. The problem is, you can only procrastinate getting off the entrance ramp for so long before you end up in a tree.
Just like in life. If you don't make a decision, and don't make a decision  and don't make a decision .. then you're probably gonna end up stuck in a tree. (figuratively speaking. If you actually end up in a tree because of something that happened because of your procrastination, please send me a picture.)
And just like life, sometimes things go wrong and that yellow BMW decides to swerve into your lane and leave you in a ditch. Sometimes getting on that interstate of your life isn't the right time and you end up in a bigger hole than you were to begin with.
But, you can always get out of the ditch and try again (talking about life's experiences. If you end up in a ditch on the interstate, there may not be any getting out of the ditch. Just saying.).
It's okay to be fearful of life's experiences. But not so afraid that you give up. You can see so much more of the world if you hop on the interstate.